Jill Arrington tried this same bit with JaMarcky Marc juice once. She was last seen rowing an inflatable Pokemon raft naked towards Alcatraz, using shoes on her hands for paddles.

Which would you rather have: the power to shoot eyeball lasers or the power to do man push-ups?

@OchentaYcinco: You're OchentYcinco Baldwin?

You'll still have your MSNBC show though, right?

That's what he gets for propping his feet up on the table at the pre-game meal while Rex Ryan is still eating.

ESPN classes up the proceedings tonight with a "LeBron's dad abandoned him when he was a kid" blast on the front page.

Let me get this straight:

Seeing all these repetitive stories today about a soccer tournament somewhere in the Middle East twelve years from now reminds me of something - Gary Bettman is just terrible at his job.

@Tully Blanchard Enterprises:

In other news, the San Antonio Spurs team charter set a new commercial plane altitude record yesterday when it briefly broke through the stratosphere to redirect a meteor headed for Washington, D.C., before returning for a quick stop to deliver relief supplies to Haiti on their way to LA - but no one gives a shit…

No, I'm pretty sure it was still the bribes.

I'd have to give Farmar the edge over Brown at point guard, just for having more experience running the Two-Triangle offense.

@Ron_Artesticular_Fortitude:

First is more of a procedural issue that sounds sexy, but isn't:

"Sugar Land Skeeters" was also the name of Michael Jackson's favorite sleepover party game.

@BobbyHoying:

Chinese Atheletes' Dirty Briefs: Look At These

@Sonar Jose: Epilogue: All is well. The sun rose again this morning, order and sanity have been restored in the Jose house.

@Sonar Jose: Alright all, thanks for the predictably superb advice. I'm off now to go fly into whatever's left of this storm and try to kill it.