Starred for your love of the Oxford comma.

That’s really a thing?

He’s not that into you.

You’re crazier than a shithouse rat.

He’s banging someone else.

“I’ve used that to crack out of a cycle of insomnia, many, many times.”

Get some exercise and eat better, it’ll cure 90% of what ails you.

LoL

LoL

It would negate ONE reason. ONE.

It would negate ONE reason. ONE.

Jesus Christ, I thought we got rid of you scrubs.

Gin, dry vermouth, cocktail onions.

I’ll be so fucking glad when the Trump administration cracks down on marihuana.

Eight percent?

Car seats.

lol

No.

lol

You ever see anyone die violently?

You are pretty fucked up.

“... my daughter’s father...”