If we were going to use something biblical, I would have gone with “leper infested whore”, but ok.......

Please tell me the new gear is all metal....

Saw a good documentary last week about current conditions in north Korea. There are groups working to subvert the government by smuggling in USB drives with western movies and magazines, books etc., and there are other groups working to smuggle people out—people that want to work for a free and open DPRK.

Pretty sure we could take them out over the course of a long weekend. They’re largely operating with Vietnam-era hardware.

Right. Don’t worry about the guy who goes by Jank. He’s probably definitely an asshole.

Worst part of Jalop you mean.

Oh god he’s chanting “U.S.A!” in his tweets.

because it’s janky

A Jeep so janky, scientists are still discovering new means of failure.

Worst. Giftshop. EVER.

It only seems beige because it’s typically viewed as a blur unless stopped.

(or: how sour are those grapes?)

I... I must have read that wrong... Surely you did not just call an RS6 Avant a beigemobile...

The RS6 Avant is a “beigemobile”?

What’s “beige” is using “beigemobile”, and you’re using it wrong.

The sad thing is the Audi is also better looking, better built, with higher quality materials, with more utility and more luxury... for roughly the same price these days.

I’lljust leave this here

I keep a bag of lollipops in the filing cabinet near where they have to be quiet. In the event that it wasn’t a drill or went on for a really long time, everyone is getting something stuck in their mouths. You have no idea how much I hate that I have a plan for that scenario.

I feel like Barabara Bush (the elder) definitely knows who to talk to if she wants human body parts delivered.

Does she need another toe? I can get her a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get her a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon.