Charlotte meaning the ESPN branch down there that coordinates production and assignments for that region’s college football. Not Charlottesville. And the “personal agenda” I have to assume is former Deadspinner Clay Travis, who has positioned himself as the White Knight of marginalized right-wing sports fans and…

Missed opportunity.

Umpires: We will keep these wristbands on until we are shown the respect we deserve

*womp womp*

Tony Stark saved 13 in IM3. So we could ask them.

Bennett remained on the bench with a towel over his shoulders

He’ll never throw another pass in the NFL if I have anything to say about it!

Much of my extended family is in philly, though I was born and raised in pittsburgh. I have been to at least one game at every stadium that has existed there over the last 20 years. My most recent event in philly was a soccer game at the linc during the “copa america centenario” last year.

No surprise that Carson Wentz loves wounded ducks.

There’s nothing anyone can say about the city of Philadelphia that Bill Burr didn’t cover in his infamous 12 minute attack on a philly audience.

That’s an interesting link, too. Baldamore is something I definitely say and the carry/curry thing is what I’ll hear from a lot of relatives (I attribute that to being country, along with creek/crick, roof/ruff, and a host of other things my dad says differently). I’m from not quite the upper Eastern Shore? Narrows…

I have like three racist bones in my body. I’m always complaining about them, but the rest of the bones won’t do anything about it. Two of them are real assholes and one of them is passive aggressive as shit. I don’t know, every time I think about yanking them out the other bones get all protective. Deep down, I…

You had me up until ‘cilantro sucks’. You Philistine.

Unsurprisingly, our fans are among the most difficult, intransigent, hyper-defensive individuals on the planet. I would say talking to them is like talking to a wall, but walls don’t interrupt. I would say it’s like talking to a child, but children have the capacity to learn.

You seem pretty high too.

Kiss the Rings, Bitch: I wouldn’t give Barkley a Championship Ring. He wouldn’t want it anyway. He believes in earning it and knows that, even though he was certainly one of the best, he reached his peak at a time ripe with talent that was all overshadowed by one Michael Jordan. There’s at least 5 NBA players from the…

I think driving stick is something someone in your family needs to teach you when you’re a teenager. Asking an adult friend to basically wreck their transmission to do you a favor is a tough ask.

This just happened to me for the first time this summer. By day 5 without a poop, I was practically mainlining coffee to get the works in order. The next morning was a damn toilet massacre.

4. Nancy Kerrigan. Just seven weeks after getting kneecapped by Tonya Harding’s goons, Kerrigan went out and skated her off in Norway on one knee, only to get a silver medal for it. Silver! FUCK YOU, JUDGES. I didn’t see Oksana Baiul skating out there with half her LCL missing. NANCY WAS ROBBED. I want medals for her…