I have like three racist bones in my body. I’m always complaining about them, but the rest of the bones won’t do anything about it. Two of them are real assholes and one of them is passive aggressive as shit. I don’t know, every time I think about yanking them out the other bones get all protective. Deep down, I…

You had me up until ‘cilantro sucks’. You Philistine.

Unsurprisingly, our fans are among the most difficult, intransigent, hyper-defensive individuals on the planet. I would say talking to them is like talking to a wall, but walls don’t interrupt. I would say it’s like talking to a child, but children have the capacity to learn.

You seem pretty high too.

I can only imagine how awful the UA MLB uniforms will be. Majestic unis are a work of understated art, classic and understated.

I just figured it was bound to happen once they got away from their core competency of hot dogs and potted meats

To be fair, I’m roughly the same age as Scherzer and I got a similar injury after shampooing my hair the other day.

I wonder how long until he starts backing out of his plans to save Baltimore.

I’m still pissed that Majestic lost the MLB uniform bid to these losers. Just when it was feeling like a new golden age of MLB unis (bullshit special occasions aside) I predict UA will bring some real trash in the coming years.

Because their stuff is shitty and over-priced.

Kiss the Rings, Bitch: I wouldn’t give Barkley a Championship Ring. He wouldn’t want it anyway. He believes in earning it and knows that, even though he was certainly one of the best, he reached his peak at a time ripe with talent that was all overshadowed by one Michael Jordan. There’s at least 5 NBA players from the…

I think driving stick is something someone in your family needs to teach you when you’re a teenager. Asking an adult friend to basically wreck their transmission to do you a favor is a tough ask.

This just happened to me for the first time this summer. By day 5 without a poop, I was practically mainlining coffee to get the works in order. The next morning was a damn toilet massacre.

4. Nancy Kerrigan. Just seven weeks after getting kneecapped by Tonya Harding’s goons, Kerrigan went out and skated her off in Norway on one knee, only to get a silver medal for it. Silver! FUCK YOU, JUDGES. I didn’t see Oksana Baiul skating out there with half her LCL missing. NANCY WAS ROBBED. I want medals for her…

Here’s a hot take:

This seem like the kind of razzing mockery many players (even players on rival teams) do to each other in person. I feel like Curry would have done this even if LeBron was at the same wedding. And then he would have prepared to receive incoming mockery from LeBron.

That’s not an image from an Ice Cube video - it’s from Eazy-E’s album “Dr. Dre 187 um Killa” or some such.

I don’t want to brag, but I am an absolute savage in the immediate vicinity of an 8 foot rim. I’ll never get into heaven after the things I’ve done.