+1 opportunity for Mercury Morris to douse himself in champagne

+ 1.

And just like Jesus, he was denied 3 times — except by Dallas, San Antonio, and Golden State; not Peter.

“LeBron couldn’t die like me” -LaVar Ball.

Can’t stand for it anymore because of dhfbskfhabdvvxncnvksk ajfbdusjtidbdnf #loveofsports

How about it, random cricketeer or e-sports participant? You ready to reciprocate and die for basketball? I thought not. #JustAnObjectiveFact #KingJames #ParticipationTrophy

In non-food, -video game, -UFC, or -police blotter news, Lou Williams has 26 on 9-9 shooting (6-6 threes) and South Carolina is in the Final Four after not winning any tournament games in 44 years.

This 11-year-old kid just put together more tangible thought and words than the fucking President of our country has at any point in his life.

What in the white hot hell is this?! Does Magary know this is on the site?! Skyline is an abomination. Burn in hell weird chili, burn in hell

You couldn’t even post this under your own name, Burneko.

there is now a bear story and i apologize for jumping the gun and sincerely enjoyed your article about eating poop

Skyline gets a bad rap, and the pictures in this post do nothing to improve its reputation. But the fact that a simple bowl of chili can produce such feelings of comfort and nostalgia,

Instead of a Bear Friday post we get a paean to literal shit. What the fuck 

Do you guys refresh Deadspin every 20 minutes like I do to see if a new post has come through or do you have an idea what’s coming down the line on any given day?

Leaving aside the specific question of strippers, tell your friends, in a moment of seriousness, that if they have [whatever deal-breaking thing they know you don’t want around] at what’s ostensibly your bachelor(ette) party, you won’t attend it. Then be prepared to follow through. If they’re so committed to strippers…

Wizards

My friend was listening to the Around the NFL podcast at work the other day, and they were talking about Derek Carr blocking two of the hosts on Twitter. Who is the most famous person to block you on Twitter?

Wizards

I have some tragically confused friends that claim the cow is the superior foodbeast over the pig. I don’t really have a question, I just had to get that out.