Fine! I will add maraschino liqueur to my daiquiri!

There’s something so human about taking something great, and ruining it slightly so you can have more of it

Any time anybody tells me that cutting out a single thing will make depression “go away” I am pretty sure that person is making shit up.

How interstitial...

I’ve always believed that as long as your kid grows up feeling safe and loved you’ve done your job and they’ll be okay.  It’s nice when science validates my somewhat lazy approach to life!

I’m kinda shocked that Lipton’s onion soup powder isn’t already chock full of MSG...

Yes. Obviously.

Dietary cholesterol isn’t really a big problem though.

But I can also drink these by the pitcher full all summer, yeah?

Planks are static, this adds an element of balance which is more challenging. I wonder if that would change that math...

I’m co-parenting three year old identical twins and it’s for sure a trip. This is my second go-round (two kids in their early 30s) and I can definitely say that everything from the first day I met them to about 13 years old was just amazing that time and I’m having a similar experience so far this time. Plus, the fact…

I can’t eat iceberg lettuce without getting horrible heartburn (my stomach refuses to believe that it can’t digest the stuff so it tries SUPER HARD) so I find this idea extremely intriguing, especially with the grilled romaine. Is romaine still largely poisoned with e coli though? And would grilling take care of that?

Look, if you’re going to be reasonable I’m going to have to ask you to leave the Internet.

But I don’t WANNA get an Apple TV+ account!

I still miss Madeline Kahn. She was the best.

Imagine your process in combination with this:

It is, but let’s not get bogged down in semantics!

oh my dear god

I used to work on the RADARs that drive those LEDs and I have a hard time not “testing”them when I see them in the wild. As they get more common, this is becoming sort of a problem...

Look, if you want disabled people to be able to reach the second floor you are clearly a dirty commie who is dead set on polluting our precious bodily fluids.