I’m like 90% sure it’s because you end up using most of your brain to remember not to say “fuck” in front of your kids.

Pure blind spot systems can be reasonably replaced with a $1.89 convex mirror or, if you want to be a luddite, turning your head.

Clark bars, mary janes, sky bars, squirrel nut zippers, all gone. Gone!

“We don’t get comfortable here.”

I mean, once the erectile dysfunction drugs kicked in...

Okay, but what about Mary Janes!?!

Okay, you’ve taken my perfectly good play on words and turned it into a pun thread. What the hell, dude??!?!

I don’t want to live in this world anymore.

I feel sort of odd eating Catholics these days though...

So wait, if I eat a vegan pastor does his actual denomination matter in terms of that being a vegan meal?

Wait, a chicken plant?!? This vegan substitute bullshit has officially gone to far!

I mean, that and the part where I keep almost banging my grandmother.

Well played!

If you’ve got a stand mixer, the paddle attachment shreds chicken really well.

Eh, I feel like there's a level of disingenuousness involved in a lot of that stuff. 

Philly cheesesteaks are the worst cheesesteaks. A proper steak and cheese sub is a wonderful thing. I have no idea how regional they are but you can get a damn solid one in any of literally hundreds of sub shops around the Greater Boston Area. Leone’s in Somerville does steak and cheese better than anybody.

(nobody doesn’t know this)

Speaking as a Celtics fan, COME ON CLIPPERS!

Yes, that is essentially exactly what I said. Thanks.

Diet Doctor Pepper is the best diet soda and I will straight fight anybody who says otherwise.