Great, but can you please do something about the fact that your shops smell like a dumpster?

More for the gonna-try-this-at-home crowd...

Hi, I’m here for the robot handjob jokes?

Yes, but the person you feed it to afterwards must be wearing a thong and pasties at a minimum.

Niche pornography mostly.

Dude, getting good, repeatable results baking is pretty much all about being finicky about measurements!

This article should have carried a trigger warning. But, like, for GERD.

I mean, I saw a cute video of a snow leopard yesterday...

High Life is the best cheap beer.

Nuclear hellscape from the look of things...

Brine the turkey, invest in a probe thermometer, coat the breasts with butter, and remember, stuffing is evil.

oh for fuck sake...

Sure, but I can eat those for whatever reason. Hell, I can eat other kinds of lettuce. Just not frigging iceberg.

You know how iceberg lettuce is pretty much entirely indigestible? My stomach does not know this. It honestly thinks it can digest iceberg lettuce if it just tries hard enough. This creates truly epic heartburn.

I’m pretty sure I saw several movies based on that basic premise...

I don’t understand this question at all...

Yes! I will take one of everything please!

So is this an argument for the second amendment based on, like, a Red Dawn type scenario or is he implying that he goes everywhere with a gun in case of tyrants? 

dude.

Okay, but what if, and stay with me here, what if the zombie sex slave could ALSO make brownies?