Look I’m a lapsed Catholic who still holds on to some of my beliefs. Mainly that Jesus (the composite character of many so called son of God prophets) was fucking righteous. I am a firm believer in the Catholic social justice movement. One of peace, justice, compassion, love, understanding, and respect for all. These…

These people are a disgrace to humanity and Christianity. I am offended by their mere existance let alone their philosophy. They are hateful bigots who have chosen to expound their fucked up philosophy of submission and apparently degradation of women through the medium of crappy television . They follow the tenants…

This would make a great Disney movie. Woman with a therapy kangaroo teaches a town what love is. Town rallies when the roo gets sick. Triumphant ending yada yada yada.

Okay, kilos of blow from Colombia. Better?

I’ve definitely noticed a bunch of pearl clutchers around here in the past few years. And it’s getting worse. What would they think of Slut Machine at the AVN awards or Pot Psychology or Mo and the week of the lost tampons?! I know, I’m old. I miss the old Jezzie.

Sound advice Flygirl. And everyone who’s like “You’re teaching people how to smuggle drugs! White privilege! My panties are on fire! Stop or my boobs will shoot!” need to chill the fuck out. She’s giving some helpful advice to those who want to take a little smoke on their next vacation not bring in pounds of beasters…

I can’t do this anymore. I used to love this feature. It was a cute way to catch up on gossip in magazines and about people I don’t give a shit about in magazines I would never read.

I don’t go shopping very often. I hate it. I fix my own clothes and treat them as gently as possible. I don’t make a lot of money therefore I have to buy things with an eye toward price and quality. I know my clothes are probably made in horrible conditions in some awful factory in Bangladesh or Cambodia.

I go shopping and get all the booze, drinks and snacks that we want for the trip, pull out their crap and put that shit in the fridge instead. I have never opened one freaking thing from a minibar.

I would buy all the drugs and then sit in the rave shower for hours on end.

Didn’t they solve crimes or something? I’m so confused.

My firm little clitoris just shrank up into my love tunnel.

Using braille on money I like better. But I really love that all our bill are the same size and color. It soothes my OCD to face and stack all of my bills in the same manner. Plus it all fits in my wallet.

I adore you. Keep up the excellent work!

Oh holy baby Jebus, I pray they are using superfine glitter. That stuff never goes away. It is a miraculous substance.

She looks terrible. Maybe its all that processed food stuff and booze. What a shame. She used to be a beautiful lady. A terrible cook but very pretty.

You will pry my silky maxi dresses from my short stubby fingers. NY summers are hellacious without maxi dresses when all i want to do is wear as little as possible. Fuck the bra, fuck the underpants. They are great beach cover ups when you want to strip your wet suit off right there on the beach and still look pretty.…

That’s great that you were able to save that kids life. And right on that you dont drink or do drugs. No one should ever be pressured to do things they don’t want to do. But scaring parents is an ineffective way to get their kids to make responsible choices. Kids will just lie and you’ll never know until something bad…

Granted some of these parents may have been foreigners or Amish who’s cultural experience was different from mine and most other American teenagers. But provoking hysteria among parents about the poor children is really dastardly. It reminds me of one of those Born Again ‘halloween houses’ with the girls screaming…

Keep clutching those pearls!