Sound advice Flygirl. And everyone who’s like “You’re teaching people how to smuggle drugs! White privilege! My panties are on fire! Stop or my boobs will shoot!” need to chill the fuck out. She’s giving some helpful advice to those who want to take a little smoke on their next vacation not bring in pounds of beasters…

I can’t do this anymore. I used to love this feature. It was a cute way to catch up on gossip in magazines and about people I don’t give a shit about in magazines I would never read.

I don’t go shopping very often. I hate it. I fix my own clothes and treat them as gently as possible. I don’t make a lot of money therefore I have to buy things with an eye toward price and quality. I know my clothes are probably made in horrible conditions in some awful factory in Bangladesh or Cambodia.

I go shopping and get all the booze, drinks and snacks that we want for the trip, pull out their crap and put that shit in the fridge instead. I have never opened one freaking thing from a minibar.

I would buy all the drugs and then sit in the rave shower for hours on end.

Didn’t they solve crimes or something? I’m so confused.

My firm little clitoris just shrank up into my love tunnel.

Using braille on money I like better. But I really love that all our bill are the same size and color. It soothes my OCD to face and stack all of my bills in the same manner. Plus it all fits in my wallet.

I adore you. Keep up the excellent work!

Oh holy baby Jebus, I pray they are using superfine glitter. That stuff never goes away. It is a miraculous substance.

She looks terrible. Maybe its all that processed food stuff and booze. What a shame. She used to be a beautiful lady. A terrible cook but very pretty.

You will pry my silky maxi dresses from my short stubby fingers. NY summers are hellacious without maxi dresses when all i want to do is wear as little as possible. Fuck the bra, fuck the underpants. They are great beach cover ups when you want to strip your wet suit off right there on the beach and still look pretty.…

That’s great that you were able to save that kids life. And right on that you dont drink or do drugs. No one should ever be pressured to do things they don’t want to do. But scaring parents is an ineffective way to get their kids to make responsible choices. Kids will just lie and you’ll never know until something bad…

Granted some of these parents may have been foreigners or Amish who’s cultural experience was different from mine and most other American teenagers. But provoking hysteria among parents about the poor children is really dastardly. It reminds me of one of those Born Again ‘halloween houses’ with the girls screaming…

Keep clutching those pearls!

These people were presumably teenagers at one point, yes? High schoolers have been doing this shit forever. We had bitchin’ parties, got wasted, and had a great time.

I work in the same building as McCann. This season is giving me blind, tremulous rage at them for absolutely no reason.

I’m allergic to mangos. No one ever takes that seriously. “Oh mangos are like so goood! How can you be allergic to them?!” Look fuckers I don’t care how “good” they are they give me hives and an itchy, swollen throat.

Oh, please, please set yourself on fire you fucking mope. God will forgive you because all teh little fetis you saved by being an utterly cruel and inhuman monster toward women.

It's the Attack of the Clones!!!!