Texas has a weak Governor system anyway. It’s the Lt. Governor that rides roughshod over the state legislature.

Texas has a weak Governor system anyway. It’s the Lt. Governor that rides roughshod over the state legislature. The Gov just ignores clemency requests and signs whatever the legislature coughs up during the 140 days every two years that they convene (not counting special sessions).

I wasn’t being a total freak when I accidentally killed myself, I was just consummating my marriage!

Alternatively, she could with the line I always hear when I approach such women: “Not Interested.”

“I mean not many wives would react that way to tragedy, I know mine wouldn’t.”

Way to stick to sports.... Jezebel! Functioning comment section here it looks like?

Can you let me know when you will be returning to sports coverage so I can go back to checking in once or twice per day? I have a lot to do today at work and all of these posts about non-sports topics are distracting because I Must Read Every Single One of Them. Whereas with the sports stuff I really only care if its…

Would like to take this opportunity to applaud the decision to link out to as many great non-sports stories as possible today:

Damn. Where’s Reggie Jackson when you need him 

The school recently announced the hiring of new head coach Greg Brandory

while everyone else at work was putting their “pronouns” in their email signatures my buddy and I decided to have some fun with it an put ours as “dude/bro/brah.” Yeah, that didn’t last very long before complaints were made.

Her placenta falls to the floor

Kramer was probably thinking of the ancient Greek hermai. They were fairly simple statues with heads and male genitals* that were often found at boundaries and crossroads. They were truly statues of limitations.

I could see Romo winning a golf tournament, unless some sort of playoff was involved.

I come from a long line of beer money sign men. My uncle was a beer money sign man. My uncle’s uncle was a beer money sign man. My uncle’s uncle’s uncle was a beer money sign man. My uncle’s uncle’s uncle’s uncle was a beer money sign man, and so was his bastard nephew twice removed. My uncle’s uncle’s uncle’s uncle…

He continued “My new racist tweets are much better. #MAGA”

Be a good person. The bar is set really fucking low.

But I can already eat at Olive Garden as many times as I want for the rest of my life for zero dollars!

I saw one of those on a Merkur Scorpio in Paris once!

“Heroes don’t act that way, people said,” Dale Robertson reported in the Houston Post, with a heaping of wryness. “Davy Crockett wouldn’t have asked for a raise at the Alamo. Shame, shame.”