Your mom.

Yeah I made the huge mistake of once bringing up that, uh, isn’t the Republican denial of pollution and climate change going to kill a ton of people, and, uh. . . let’s just say my brain is still bleeding.

I’ll never forget the woman I met who snottily informed me “democrats don’t have any idea why they’re democrats - they’re just joiners! They just join the party bc they don’t think for themselves!” And literally, no exaggeration, one sentence later answered my question of “ok, so why are you a republican?” with an…

Of course, 45 doesn’t really give a shit about abortion. I would wager he’s paid for a few, or at least promised to pay, then left the woman with the bill.

Somebody stupid tried to, got stopped. Democrats aren’t usually the tree of liberty watering types.

So someone tell me if this is right:

His name is Blanket...he had the deck stacked against him from day one. Blanket.

If the blind gossip is anything to go by, all three of the Jackson children are running very fast down very short piers, and this is not going to end well.

Awesome but nobody cares. That’s a Skip Bayless move, insisting that he was right all along. Congratulations, you didn’t think a Queen or an 8 would turn up on the river. Still lost the hand though, so shut up and take the L.

Seriously what a disappointment.

I can’t even begin to tell you have much better the internet has been since I stopped reading anything that guy writes.

15,000 word write up coming tomorrow (complete with 3000 pop culture references) titled “why the Celtics actually won the game”.

I think I’d like the Celtics 10x more if I didn’t have to read shit like that from Bill Simmons.

I just don’t have faith in people.

lol forgive me

Grievous bodily harm or GTFO

It’s about time our agencies started using KGB thug tactics!

Wow, these conservative family values types ALWAYS seem to get caught diddling kiddies and raping women, and then claiming it’s all a political conspiracy against them!

I’m just afraid the pee tapes are gonna be like the polar bears (and all the other mysteries in Lost). Strung on for way too long, and when we finally get the answer it’s happened so far down the line that we don’t care about that mystery anymore because 1,000 more have popped up in its place.