And one point, McConaughey, while grocery shopping with Leto, runs into one of his old pals who can't believe he's hanging out with one of them crossdressing gays. McConaughey turns on his tough-guy face: "He's a person, just like you and me." This is a movie about the AIDS crisis that feels obliged to remind us that…

The official NFL statement continued: "This decision is final and binding, not subject to appeal, as per stipulation 334(b), section 3.2.4. The NFLPA can suck it. Sucks to suck, dickheads."

I don't know that I would be worried about him doing anything. Given that he's a social media manager at a marketing firm, there's a very good chance that he has never said a thing that is true in his life

...worked as the director of new media for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Dallas.

He also used to be a writer for Bleacher Report

FAU will be holding a press conference in a few minutes

Pictured: Carl Pelini, about to go down, over grass

Maybe? I definitely beat my own expectations, so there's that. And thank you!

Wait, I have a man? Where is he? Shoot, if I'd known I had a man I wouldn't have even bothered with that whole college thing.

VICTORY DUAN (with bonus!Weird Foreign Music)

Is it cannibalism if a Cardinal eats crow?

I'm sure no one will remember. Trust me, I wouldn't worry about it.
- Bill Buckner

When I saw Stafford lining up, I was yelling at a Cowboys that it was gonna be a fake (bare with me, this isn't gonna be an Easterbrook-like jerkoff about my clairvoyant ways). I was so mad that they couldn't see it coming (picked the Cowboys in the office pool). What I wonder is, how many of these little calls do we…

We begin the final run-up to Halloween:

Holding shitty shelving hostage?

We all know Mariners - Padres would be the biggest World Series ratings dumpster fire of all time.

Another Bob Costas disaster: Shelves.

Well, this game isn't, but agreed. Even though I hate both these teams, I'm still finding myself watching the World Series ... because I'll always watch the World Series.

Actually, if we're going to try to encourage people to do things here, then anyone who happens to see this and who hasn't read either of these contributions by your fellow Deadspin commenters is urged to do so. One will make you laugh, one will make you cry; both are fabulous.

Get rid of Tim McCarver and the games will seem half as long.