The Onion's race to keep up with the insanity of the real world of late has been incredible. Just yesterday they published a headline featuring the President of the United States raving about eugenics while nude onstage, and all I could think was "this will probably be reality by next week at latest."

“Still others used these test results to put forth a twisted notion of diversity, one ‘that allows them to say, no, we’re really diverse and we don’t need non-white people to have a diverse society[.]”

Oh no! I only have 1.5 months left to watch Bolero?

I'm still frustrated at how much I enjoy Black Betty (the Ram Jam version).

Somewhere, Chris O'Donnell is hurling a whiskey bottle at his television set, moaning about his lost days of being the only Super Chris around.

They've all made at least one other film I've really liked (Rush for Hemsworth, The Lego Movie for Pratt and Scott Pilgrim for Evans), but between Hell or High Water, Star Trek Beyond and Into the Woods (he steals every damn scene he's in in the latter), I gotta give it to Pine for best non-superhero resume.

FWIW, I really liked him in The Lego Movie, which was my first significant exposure to him.

Even better is him, in that same scene, dialing the phone with his gun.

Anyone who follows Evans' Twitter knows he's taken Captain America to heart.

**OFFICIAL HEMSWORTH POWER RANKINGS**

Considering Hemsworth has played Pine's father before, it's probably for the best that they don't interact in such fashion.

Eh. I liked it a bit more than the first segment (which mostly sucked) because I really like Melanie Lynskey, but I really couldn't figure out what The Birthday Party was going for. I didn't find any of it creepy, and the stuff that seemed like it was supposed to be funny just wasn't doing it for me. (Obviously, humor…

It's like they're wearing nothing at all!

You never know, maybe his name is Pro Grock and he's very comfortable with his sexuality?

He was squeezed for anything nice to say about it.

Contestants from states where he didn't win will be shot in the kneecaps immediately prior to the competition.

That's it. Game over man, game over.

Trump and the Nazis can take their 4-D chessboard and shove it straight up their putrid, hatemongering, murder-defending ass.

Unfortunately, the ACLU's a bit busy right now trying to justify constantly donating lawyers to Nazis.

As well as many, many FOX executives, just because.