Not according to Shaquille O'Neal, you can't.

That guy from Sky Captain?

……………..Look, I know fuck all about the Jack Reacher books, and I'm not really interested in how much better they are than the films or whether Cruise looks like the book character, but I honestly enjoyed Never Go Back quite a bit. I spent basically the whole movie waiting for the moment when everything became the…

I'm glad you're all here to witness what may very well be my grisly death!

The Geek 3

We're going balls to the wall with this one.

Dark Side of the Moon Into Darkness

Get David Attenborough on the line.

No, it's an Effie Trinket thing.

Add a British narrator who does the whole thing as a nature documentary.

Amateurish headline. Obviously should say "Fifty Shades Darker to whip home video audience into submission with extra-punishing unrated cut."

Dump Another Day
This Dump is Not Enough

He thought his buzz was gonna take him lightyears.

So if I punch a Nazi limo while torching it…

*straight white ostensibly-Christian man who is at least upper-class enough to be Twitter-verified

Sessions is probably okay with conservative white folks getting second chances.

To Übermensch and beyond!

Ending the MCU on Civil War (or even just the Avengers side of the MCU) would just seem wrong to me. It'd be like ending the Star Wars franchise with Empire. I mean, sure, Empire is a better film than Jedi (though I love both), but it still needs Jedi to exist in order to feel whole.

I saw John Cleese live! (Can't really call it stand-up since he was on a stool most of the time.) Had a blast. It was mostly just him comedically reviewing the details of his life and career (complete with clips) but he's more than likable and entertaining enough that even when it was stuff I already knew, I was…

Predator agai… wait, that's the other guy.