Hmmm. I was expecting "Speaking as someone who wanted to hang himself watching FB…" Maybe it's not as polarizing as I thought.

Speaking as someone who had a blast watching Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them…

Granted, Rowling didn't really write it, but once I finished Cursed Child, I thought, "Oh! So that's what seeing The Phantom Menace in theaters felt like!"

I really don't see what the point of forcing J.K. Simmons to write all of these movies would be, though.

That's a lot of sequels no one's ever heard of.

Really? You looked at Betsy DeVos and thought "She's probably not sniffing glue right now?"

All of human history
Has led to this moment.

It all went to hell, though, when Selina accidentally whispered "Martha."

We have assumed control.
We have assumed control.

This is the end
Hold your breath and count… to ten
Feel the earth move and then
Hear my heart burst again…

"No Twitter and no hookers make Donald something something."

Taj Mahal Royale
Liefall
The Man With the Golden Shower
Twitterball
Never Say Never Trump
Grab 'Em By the Octopussy

Dwayne Johnson: You're welcome!

Springtime for Hallstrom

Pictured: Leaked footage of American Humane Association representative on set of A Dog's Purpose.

2032: "Declaration of Hailee Steinfeld"

How fitting that the first two movies of the Trump era, A Dog's Purpose and Resident Evil: The Final Chapter, are both stained with ethics scandals - animal cruelty for the former and lethal incompetence (a stuntwoman was horribly injured and a crewman was crushed to death) for the latter.

I should've been clearer, but when I said "people," I meant "some people."

I didn't forgive Cannibal Holocaust for its animal cruelty, and I'm sure as hell not forgiving this.

My dog is 17 years old and clearly on his way out, which just makes me feel the sheer exploitation in this POS even more potently. Every time I see this goddamn trailer in front of something the person sitting next to me has to stop me from hurling shit at the screen when they show the dog dying.