"Today you can slick your wob back with your own tears of bitter disappointment" is what really got me. A good dirt bag indeed.

Does cradling your belly not mean poops anymore?

Sorry but that Thai food/House of Cards combo sounds like heaven to me.

Kristen Schaal's was perfect. Perfect.

Barbara Walters.

Oh, Miley. No one associates you with punk rock.

That's a sly selfie there, Chris Pratt. I guarantee you took a few pictures of that bird shit to ensure that your reflection was satisfactorily represented.

My favorite abortion tv plot line is the one where she decides not to have one and then has a miscarriage.

Your gif. It gives me feels.

You are a the awesomest!

WEEEELLL, soommeebody who didn't think she could be attracted to Vin Diesel was wrong.

Maybe the theme of the wedding was actually "groan sexy."

Shhhhh...don't ever say anything other than "OMG, I worship Queen Bey." Otherwise you're accused of being a hater (perhaps the most overused word around). When it comes to Beyonce you're not allowed to disagree. LOL

1) The reaction to Miley had to do with the appropriative aspects of her work.

I understand the problematic nature of her words, but I think we have more dangerous homophobic attitudes to deal with. She is being polite and not actively working to limit anyone's rights. I say we just roll our eyes and move on.

I don't care if you all hate me but, as a gay male, I totally disagree with all the hate being thrown her way. She disagrees. OK. She doesn't say it should be illegal. She doesn't say it's destroying America. She doesn't say gay people should change. She says she doesn't agree that it's a choice and she doesn't think…

He is a delinquent.

I love her, but sometimes I wonder how much of her real girl charm is a sham. Her genuine response to this - and her inability to let it go, continuing to tell the reporter she's a terrible person - makes me feel like her personality is completely legit. That wasn't the response of someone putting on a show, that…

"I was thinking about unconditional love, and I was thinking: Geishas are basically, like, the masters of loving unconditionally."