Generally speaking, when celebrities are interviewed on Ellen, I am pleasantly surprised at how witty, self-deprecating, and intelligent they are.

I assume the police have already tried “Accio prequel”?

Well I’ll be a tied up chicken hanging off the side of a moonshine jug!

Thank goodness you take the time to write these posts up, James. Otherwise the people who haven’t watched the series in the past two or three years wouldn’t have the opportunity to show us how little they care about it by posting here to say so.

Moose has been on Deadspin before - Deadspin staff verdict: good dog.

Yes, let us reject those who only recently decided to agree with us. They are not the true believers of ‘woke’ but blasphemers in sheep’s clothing! I say we ridicule them for now agreeing and therefore discourage them from taking part. How dare they only agree with us now and not before!

I stopped watching CNN the day after the election. I have been waaaaaay less annoyed in general.

If you want to watch him but not superhero shows, Google “Dudes Being Dudes in Wine Country.” He and his winery partner goof around a bunch.

Welcome to the year 2016, where the jokes have become reality, reality has become a joke, and every celebrity you like is dead.

My local grocery store had the indecency screen up over the Trump People cover.

There are so many better solutions than genocide.

You just fucked that unborn kid’s future with your vote.

Women’s bodies vs bodies of the infants is what the argument is.

That is...mathematically impossible.

I only learned recently that Teen Mom had switched it up and started including the producers and it sounds super interesting.

Opposite with me. I love AoS, and am considering NOT watching this season because this sounds (and looks) ridiculous.

People, I have discovered some disturbing things about Ryan Lochte. Did anyone notice that, during the Olympics, he:

I’ve Performed at the Super Bowl and Hillary Clinton’s Presidential Nomination and All You’ve Done Is Sit On Some Ugly Rocks With an Englishman

Ehhhhh, I mean all the photos are from the event they’re covering — the nomination — and Hillary Clinton wasn’t there. So kinda hard to get a photo of her. The USA Today one looks terrible.

Samara crawling out of the tv at the end of The Ring. That movie was so freaking scary. When I saw it in theatres I was basically paralyzed with dread. Of course I know ghosts don’t exist, let alone crawl out of tv sets, but this movie and its atmosphere completely got to me. Plus the music and that eerie white noise…