For her 30th birthday, Khloe Kardashian just wants her boyfriend French Montana"to remain sweet and innocent."

I know! I kept grabbing my boyfriend like "AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON?" but sure enough when I rewound, they looked nothing alike. My cynical brain tricked me.

If she turns out to be not dead (please god no), it will go against a major movie/TV rule I have known to be true: if they have their eyes open, they dead.

Could very well be both! Though from my experience, it's been really hard to cover up. They get all bubbly and blistery and dried blood-y. Not cute. But then again, I don't have a professional makeup artist at hand!

I can tell you lasering off a tattoo takes a shit-load of time (I'm on 9 months) and is hideous in the process. I'd go with makeup.

Ughhh, it's gorg.

OK, I want that to be my wedding dress.

Hold up— is this actually a Garnier Nutrisse commercial?

Points for the Daniel Bryan usage <3 <3 <3

What is it about CMM? He's clearly a total douchebag (cheated on America's Most Underrated Sweetheart Sophia Bush with one Paris Hilton), and yet...

I didn't think he really nailed the part until he turned around though. #datass

Yes, because none of us would start a successful, lucrative lifestyle blog if given the opportunity.

including a live-in stint in the early '80s with Liam Neeson

You mean she's not AN ACTRESS?! Fooled me.

Were her sisters not invited to her bachelorette party? How does anyone have a bachelorette party without KHLOE?!?

Spot on. Would we lump Juno in with those though? I don't know if she ever entertains keeping it, even if she backs out of the abortion.

Every time I see Jason Derulo, I think of Bo Burnham. #blessed

It has to be "hashtag suck it". Just has to be!