“Bearded Man Behind Kate Shits in Pants”

Her heartless campaign is on the table, its legs kicking, while someone says it lacks a harvestable brain.

That's easy: their cufflink collection.

Please. Stop. Disrespecting. NIKOLA TESLA. He is the one who invented A/C electricity.

At one point my son tried to convince me to eat a - no lie - vomit-flavored Jelly Belly. I demurred.

First it was wine... then coffee... then bourbon... now corpses... “Undertones of wild raspberry with scents of vanilla and toffee and festering human innards.”

Beets me...

Christie won’t be insulted. He has very thick, blubbery skin.

If Cunniff doesn't lose weight within 90 days, Christie will frost him and eat him.

OMG not KrollPoehl... say it ain't seoul!

Unless I can get a corresponding Ken doll for my son - replete with random boners, wet dreams, and other mortifications - this remains so much chauvanistical bullshit.

“Father knowles best”

I’m sensing a movie concept...

He is an imploding tower of rage.

Eats weed candy. Listens to Pink Floyd albums. Cuts legs on broken glass. Gets gun from ironically named “safe.” Kills his old lady.

Deflated balls x Inflated egos = minus 1

Sounds like quite a lot of saddling indeed.

What color is that? Oh wait, blood orange.

Light of my life, fire of my loins.

Yes... that's my jam!