I’m a foal to loave you

Explains why the murder weapon of choice was a billy club.

Oh, ewe!

Shannon Lamb is such a great name for a murderer though.

And thousands of dollars... I wouldn’t even pay that much for Francis’s scalp!

Also I watched the movie of his stand-up act and it was frigging hilarious.

He said I sinned in his sermon / to atone I sent my sperm in.

I say cut out the (soft in the) middleman and just make love to/on/with/at a tub of Crisco. Just be sure to warn the next person baking cookies.

I'm surprised the clever beard disguise didn't throw her off the scent. The scent of whatever funk is on his beard, that is.

Brilliant analysis.

Still better than Canadian beer though...

It proves the maxim that “a boy’s dog is his breast friend.”

Sure, but who wants to stay in the spare womb? Usually it's a dank space atop the gawage.

More importantly, why can’t I meet a woman with a name like “Destiny Romero”?

One thing to think is that it's an incredibly misleading headline.

Wheys and nasty people are covered by the Wheys and Means Committee.

It's her own damn fault for being mortal. She shoulda fixed that.

She kind of looks like an extra scary, female Dick Cheney.

His whole goddamn life is a shitty video game that doesn't work and no one would ever buy. Plus mouth cancer. And a fat head.

Breaking bad. Breaking water. Breaking wind, presumably. He does it all.