The NHL said Vegas is garbage? Who are we to disagree?

i just looked up scalia (so to speak) and there was just a picture of a scary-looking rash. i wonder if it's terminal.

jesus. maybe he ate the receipts? that would be the soldierly thing to do. plus, you put enough condiments on that shit? mmm...don't get me started!

i hope the cutting implement he employed wasn’t as dull of a tool as he appears to be.

second sentence has the ultimate dangling modifier. just fyi.

this bites. why couldn't david crosby have had the aneuryism?

add in some wacky props like a flightless bird or a head of cauliflower. not both though - that's illegal in most states (not california, or caulifornia as it is sometimes known).

why don’t you just appropriate or re-appropriate some of his crap-ass art? you’re eons more talented and thoughtful than he is, so wouldn’t be hard to beat him at his own lame-o game.

what's genuinely sinful is the danger of staining the sheets with yogurt. one shudders to contemplate what the cleaning dude or lady might think.

“i wanna be black / i wanna have a girlfriend named samantha / and a stable of foxy little whores / i wanna be black” - lou reed

if the cat circumcised your son, it's no wonder she got declawed. tell her to stop mewling and moheling about it.

proving yet again that there is no “ii” in “crappass team”

a few weeks ago iverson was supposed to appear at a comic book / sci-fi fantasy convention in philly. i think for a hundred bucks you could take a picture with him. my son (11) asked if we could go, and i told him it sounded like the most depressing thing ever at least since john lennon was shot.

if you haven’t read ngoche’s novel “half of a yellow sun,” stop whatever you're doing immediately and do so. easily one of the best books i have ever read.

it reminds me of that old joke about sex partners turning into pizzas at 3 a.m., only they tried to change back inside my intestines and then i died.

wiping is gross, and disgustingly unsanitary (and therefore so are you). two words: biffy bidet. life changer. no shit.

is this from whence the term “gettin’ miggy wif it” derives? i’m asking 4 a friend. no wait i have 0 friends.

i heard brooks babbling on the radio the other day, and your assessment of his mental/spiritual condition is spot-on. it’s amazing how people can hide from themselves behind a wall of pomposity.

i grant you, he's no leon spinks.

“i move with the elegance / of an african elephant”