A 99 year old man goes to the doctor saying “Doc, you gotta help me. My 27 year old supermodel wife is pregnant, what am I going to do?”

It’s also a really bad idea to wash fruits and veggies with soap, as ingesting soap can cause nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.

So I grab a box of crackers from the store that happens to have the virus from another person on it. I sanitize my hands after leaving the store and after putting my groceries away...while that box still remains with the virus. That’s where this articles ends it. What about when I grab the box from the cabinet to eat…

Yeah, but Trump getting re-elected couldn’t happen without a lot of help from the DNC. Propping up Joe Biden even as his mental and physical health fades should be a crime, and using all their political and media contacts just to prevent Bernie Sanders from winning the Democratic nomination should earn them their own…

I want to warp to November so I can vote this incompetent asshole out of office.

My first response was “Big Brother is still going?” I really didn’t think it was running still, anywhere in the world!

Maybe inappropriate, yet I can’t help but think of this, and Dumbledore’s words of wisdom to Harry: “This mirror gives us neither knowledge or truth.  Men have wasted away in front of it, even gone mad.”

...never use a debit card.  Good advice in all situations.

Your honor, as you can see my client not only checked the box proving consent, but is also a senior citizen, no American over the age of *checks notes* 133 years should be treated this way.

Maybe one reason is he didn’t get away with it? Just a guess. But he did do time - years, in fact.

Who burned down your Shire? Sheesh.

The ITU cited a rule that penalizes athletes who cook up a “contrived tie situation,”

There is no “distance from St. Louis to Ferguson;” Ferguson is St. Louis.  For reasons both arcane and corrupt, St. Louis is made up of 100 or so smaller municipalities.

I had to reread the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs a couple times to make sure I correctly understood what happened.

Your an idiot - Why, never in the Earth’s six-thousand-year history has there ever been a comment so dumb!

Look at the lady in the first row next to Adam Silver. That is serial killer level of chill.

That’s a little ageist. I can think of several places where he might have been swimming then

huh.

The 28-year-old Bulgarian is stuck in a Groundhog Day fugue. Almost every day Dimitrov wakes up, goes to work, and has to play Stan Wawrinka in the first round of a tournament. It’s deeply unpleasant.

Katy Perry does. Didn't you read the article?