Neither of my kids liked it much either, but the dog looooooooved it until she chewed her feet off.

My bag for my kids (ages 2 and 5) also has:

Why is there a spedometer? I have one of those in my dashboard. (Yes, I know you can turn it off in settings.) I just don’t understand why someone would need that... anyone?

Counterpoint: Indiana Jones and the Nuked Fridge

This really should have been the headline, let's face it.

I'm certain the girl in the office upstairs is 14 months pregnant. Maaaaaybe 15.

For this to impact me, a lady would have to be on my Amex card. What is this munn-ee you guys speak of?

HIPAA, not HIPPA.

I read this headline to my husband - a black coffee drinker.

Not an injury, per se, but my greatest running related malady was related to running after pregnancy and childbirth. I became just a little bit incontinent after having my daughter, but I could still run if I (a) peed immediately before running and (b) wore a pad. But dipshit me forgot both of these stipulations…

See, when I've lost toenails, they've always turned black first so at least I had some warning.

If there were any proof of a link between vaccines and autism, don't you think that we as a litigious society would have sued the everlasting fuck out vaccine manufacturers?

+1 for the Mies reference. (FLlW is not the only notable architect. Good job.)

I assume this was Elizabeth Wright Ingraham. By all accounts she was a feisty one.

I glanced at Colorado, and these exact words spewed into my head. Coors muthereffing Field?

Me after a male (hetero) friend offered me my first Gu (vanilla flavored and warm from being in a backpack): “It’s like jizz.”

I’m an architect, and I could have reduced my hours to 30 or 36 hours a week when I had my kids (and of course, my pay would gave been reduced proportionately). Two main reasons I didn’t: I knew I’d end up working more than the 30 or 36 hours I’d signed up for; after all, my typical work week is rarely at or below 40…

There was a recent episode with Rockstar Ruby, so you weren't far off.

I saved my wedding dress - my original plan was to sell it after the wedding but my husband talked me out of it - and I did so just in case I had a daughter and just in case she’d want my dress. I now have two daughters and I'll let either one of them have it, even if they want to cut it to shreds and start over.

I’ve actually never been to an Ulta. (I imagined they were like a Sally Beauty Supply.) But peoples’ comments here made it sound like Ulta was better... until it was clarified they don’t carry the good stuff, i.e. NARS. Creamy radiant concealer is my jam.