I still remember the challenge where they had to use car parts from a Saturn. Painful.

This description hits so close to home. So accurate.

I felt the same way about Jessica Simpson, but I’ve bought some of her stuff and have been pleased. Why would I buy shoes from Miss Chicken of the Sea? Well, cuz they’re cute and fit well...

*argument

I was at breakfast this morning with my family, and I could hear two men behind me talking about abortion. I didn’t hear all the conversation but I heard these bits: “3 or 6 months in, you know what you’ve gotten yourself into...” and “you made your bed, now you can sleep in it.”

Sew a Canadian flag on your backpack.

He should manipulate his face. SPF 50 can do wonders.

I grew up in Utah. Boy Scouts were ubiquitous. Girl Scouts, much less so. Mormon boys did Boy Scouts, Mormon girls did Young Women’s.

I think they know what they’re doing, for the most part. Case in point: everyone’s (rightfully) engaged in the immigrant issue, but meanwhile, there’s little attention paid to Steve Bannon being implanted into the National Security Council. These are slimy fucks and we can’t take out eyes off any of them for a second.

My six-year-old daughter is a damn genius, and I tell her that everyday. This is a kid who begged Santa for a chapter book when she was in kindergarten and likes to tell people “twelve divided by two is six.” She also tells me, “You should be nice to people because when you’re good to people you feel good. When…

It’s a sign of the apocalypse when I have the urge to retweet Kim K, right?

I expect a surge in the grappling hook industry.

Migratory birds and mammals such as jaguars will care about the wall. Yet another pussy that hates Trump.

I sobbed through the trailer of this - my dog died last March and the wounds are too fresh, maybe they always will be - and my first thought was, “I have to see this dog die numerous times?!”

Not only pregnant, pregnant with twins, due in March.

Bennett is my senator and up until late, I thought he had the personality and usefulness of a potted plant. I’m glad to be mistaken.

I was on a hut trip outside Aspen, Colorado, (i.e. bumfuck nowhere) and all the water I drank, cooked with, and washed with was melted snow. A few random floaties in the water, but meh.

One of the advantages of living at high altitude is I get to tell myself my tap water has been through fewer digestive tracts than if I lived at sea level.