That’s where the similarities stopped.

Coach must have a bad temper if it takes only one Kelvin to make him reach the boiling point.

II last the XII rounds and avoid a standing VIII count.

I guess that no matter how old I get, I will never not at first glance think someone using shorthand for the US Men’s National Team is actually talking about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Kraft explained that “ ‘1’ and ‘2’ was on it. Not ‘free.’

The hot-dog sandwich

A hot dog.

Instead of an elaborate scheme to plant racist audio, they could just cut off his hair.

I wouldn’t call them overalls as much as I’d call them around-somes.

If the Belgian theater was really serious about locking that logo down, they should have put some rings on it.

I sit down to draw this creature and it’s as if my pen can’t quite grip his essence. My mind slides off of him, as if some fell spell is cast upon him. I see him, but do I know him? He looks at me, but isn’t he just looking through me? When I draw this creature, this beautiful gollum, it’s as if all my talent breaks…

“Those bastards in Bristol are ruining everything,” Palin continued. “I’ll be babysitting every weekend ‘til I’m fucking 75 years old at this rate.”

“Now...where was I on the ESPN thing....oh right, Curt Schilling...”

She is an expert in sports journalism because she studied it at 5 different colleges.

I’m at work yelling out loud about this. College coaches are fucking evil. $50 for a dirty dorm? This is just straight up stealing. An athletic department worth hundreds of millions of dollars literally stealing from their unpaid “non-employee” labor source.

Sorry buddy. Revenue sports are professional sports. Schools maximize revenues, spend hundreds of millions on facilities to attract the kids they can’t pay, pay coaches millions to maximize the wins (and revenue) and good salaries to support staff, and generate tens of millions if not nine-figure revenues each year.…

Update (8:08 p.m.): That was quick.

“I am an asshole”.

Yep, but only to the very first part.