Yeah, I’ve been drinking slowly since noon. Working on a post on outing people and I think it’s going to have to wait until tomorrow lest it be “Outing is bad, m’kay??? Only assholes out people, m’kay??? Jerks.”

You know I’m just teasing you. Or I hope you do. <3

I was responding to “right meow.” I’m literally as far from you as it’s possible to be and still be in the continental US.

You’re in Portland when? Damn it, now I have to go take back all those stars I just gave you.

I live in Nova Scotia and went on a road trip last weekend and I can’t remember ever seeing so many vehicles with American plates on the road. From all over the US, too. I was wondering if that might be eating into tourist money in the US, especially for places with similar attractions (which I guess are, like, ocean…

It was also possibly going to be Boston, Oregon, but Portland won the coin toss. Seriously.

I wish my cat would quit giving me dead mouse because she mock my inability to hunt.

I’m always excited to see Portland (the REAL Portland; the only reason the Oregon has a Portland, is because of COIN FLIP) get some attention, although it’s a difficult situation.

Frankly, I had no idea the sand was this disgusting. I'm never shitting on the beach again.

And I looked, and behold a brown horse: and his name that sat on him was Deuce, and Feces followed with him.

Well YOU entered that stage at like seventeen. You were a crotchety old high school kid. ;)

The only miniadventure I support is her murder

I’m literally fucking filled w rage rn

girl, same. i don’t have time for fucking mirror selfies. i have a full time job, a sort-of boyfriend, and DVR full of episodes of Hoarding: Buried Alive.

I’ve heard a lot of people say the same thing. Soda in general, diet or not, just isn’t a substitute for water but a lot of people fall into using it that way. Both diet and regular make me feel weird if I consume more than about 8 oz, but they’re different kinds of weird.

Man, I thought I was fucking jaded, but here I am, jaw on the floor with my stomach churning.

All I can think is that this guy is paying her off or fucking her or some shit because hooooly fuck.

I was never allowed soda as a child, except watered down gingerale if you were sick.

Their love just stresses me out SO MUCH. Every time I see an article about them I worry that I’m going to find out one of them is cheating or they’re headed for a divorce.

Knife also = stabby stabby