Typical of Newton to have issues with his coach.

I think it’s because it’s called “Date Rape” so everyone just assumes it’s pro date rape when it's actually pretty explicitly anti.

Never really cared for Sublime, but after seeing that apparently Phil Collins was in the band, things have indeed gotten more complicated for me.

Pitchfork randomly shitting on an album 27 years later is peak Pitchfork.

Yeah, it seems weird to grab a band who doesn’t claim to be a rock band and then write a blog about them not being a rock band. If he wants to bitch about bands that don’t rock hard enough for him, he needs to put on a jean-jacket vest and stand by his camaro in a 7-eleven parking lot.

He better start eating!

You got screwed in the playoffs.  Congratulations, you’re officially an NHL franchise.

Here’s an even more fucked up bit of context: once a year one of the local blog sites has a night where they get tickets for poor kids. Of course, tonight was that night.

On a train it’s the mile long club

As a Chicagoland native who lives in California, I have no dog in this fight, so I can say with some confidence that rooting for Philadelphia teams is far, far less obnoxious than rooting for Boston teams.

“Don’t quit on talent,”

We Need to Talk About Kal-El

This happens more than you'd think. More so among National League owners who refuse to employ designated hitters.

I hope that this is an isolated incident, and not something that becomes poutine.

I knew once Deadspin started covering fucking soccer that fencing couldn’t be far behind. 

That’s abuse. What kind of monster makes his kid play with the Jaguars?

I’m pretty sure being abuzz is a misdemeanor in Utah.

...was long on criticism, firm in his belief 

“The source, who was unnamed but reported to have an 11 inch penis...”

This is the dumbest take possible.  You should be ashamed.