Damn it, Tom! I spent all last night finding ways to block this sentient scarecrow from entering my field of vision. She keeps finding her way back through crafty ways.

What if Mike Carey shows up to work the first game, not knowing he’s been fired...and they all feel awkward and just let him keep going...until the end of the season.

Some of the girl’s on Kelce’s Bachelor show are hairdressers and cosmetologists which begs the question, Is he looking for love or someone to fix his eyebrows?

“Perhaps Mr. Kaepernick could comment on the murder of 40 police officers in the United States in the past few months”

I heard he’s going to cum up with one for Howard Stern’s show.

Tony Romo is the picture of Stockholm Syndrome.

Wikipedia agrees with you.

Hey, John Kuhn! You call that a fullback’s body? You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.

Even his best Draymond imitation couldn’t save him.

Don’t get into fights, especially with strangers. They could have a gun or nunchucks or be a fucking UFC fighter who will beat you and your “What happens in vegas”-saying douche crew into the depths of hell.

Si: It says here in the contract that all your asking for is the Swimsuit Edition? Like the rights to it?

I live in Williamsport and every year I feel bad for the parents because there’s honestly not much to do other than watch the games and go to some restaurants.

I’m less for the zombie idea and more for a Weekend at Al’s. Throw some sunglasses on him and have Cris work his harms with an elaborate string system.

A kiss is not a contract.

Right? If I find out she’s wearing a wig, I’ll lose hope in everything.

Bob Seger. Always has been. Always will be.

We should send that shit to Queen Elizabeth. Round 2!

I thought it was pretty gouda.

It won’t let me edit the typo so it shall remain the until the end of days.

Where are we all going to go to make snarky comments and puns now?