I’m safe because I’m going to be a millionaire any day now!

Long answer: No.

Hopefully he swallowed a couple of liters of it!

Elitist scum!

Why you using them big city words? You know he can’t read.

Who could forget?  I remain a girther to this very day.

Minnesota gave us Prince. That makes up for at least 87% of the state’s repressed Lutherans.

(A) “The economy and GDP and stock market are higher than ever before! I give myself an A+!”

No, you’re wrong.

I don’t know about “fine”. She’s been through unimaginable trauma. She’s out of immediate danger, but she’ll probably need a lot of help, both from family & friends and professionals before she’s fine

Yes, the way she seemed to be rushing from house to house, not giving anyone time to answer before moving on made me think this was someone being pursued by a serial killer. She’s fine, he’s dead, sounds so much better that what I thought we’d hear next.

What the actual fuck. It’s just dog megaphoning now. 

Attorney: Look what they did to my boy!

“It’s at this point you might ask yourself, “Wait, wasn’t Al Capone a criminal kingpin who was extremely guilty of federal tax crimes?” Why, yes, he was. Thanks for pointing that out, Harvard Law professor Alan Dershowitz.”

To complete the analogy, let’s not forget Capone’s raging syphilis. 

[Sigh]

“Nobody is better at violating campaign finance laws than Trump! Everyone says so! Just you wait, you’re gonna hear about how unbelieveable my skills at money laundering are very soon! The BEST!”

Or women 

Was going to say just this.

Cue the string of presidential Tweets claiming that Trump hardly knew Cohen and, now that he thinks of it, he doesn’t even know who Cohen is....but he’s a rat bastard, low IQ loser, turncoat, etc.

am I the only one thinking that this screams “CTE”?