Wasn’t Mary Shelley escaping a plague outbreak with some other rich folks when she wrote Frankenstein? Are any of these bastards on their private jets inventing new genres of fiction?

No one can really hide from this 100%. The rich require staff, and staff are tasked with doing their marketing, their cooking and their cleaning..all of which require them to be out among the infected. Your yacht has a messy, germ-y crew that needs to connect with those you are trying to insulate from in order to get…

“The external world could take care of itself. In the meantime it was folly to grieve or to think. The prince had provided all the appliances of pleasure. There were buffoons, there were improvisatori, there were ballet-dancers, there were musicians, there was Beauty, there was wine. All these and security were…

Yo, anybody remember the short story “The Masque of the Red Death”? Your health is only as secure as the least-cared-for member of your society.  

I also loved Miss P, his grandniece.

And what bones in his body seem to magically have problems walking into and out of courthouses.....but not for fucking ice cream and rag mags:

“Sex addiction.” So 2008. I think David Duchovney was the last guy to successfully pull that one off, and I don’t think there were any pending criminal charges if memory serves. Between this and the physical infirmities every old Mafioso brings to the courtroom, Weinstein is a defendant right out of central casting.  

publicist Tree Paine

That’s why I was smart and diversified my portfolio between potatoes and gravy. Much more flexible!

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you are incorrect sir. Given that we love potatoes, but do not have potatoes of ample size to make the fries we love. It is clearly time for the Rise of the Tot!

Let this be the ascendancy of fried yuca! Bask in the golden, crispy fluffiness!

Just have Five-Guys reduce the portion size by 1% and this’ll be solved.

Onion Rings...now is your time...

Thanks for sticking to the sports content! I love this sports.

Speaking for everyone, where’s xanax?

I love this title and article. Please do many more of these. 

Hey, good for this guy. He’s got a good story to tell. And he can throw in any celeb name he wants to embellish it. More importantly, was he paid a flat fee like a catering gig? Hoping he made some good bank.

Shocking that the owner of a sports team in 2019 with a racial slur for a nickname would do something shitty. To a white guy, I mean.

Vampire Weekend’s discography is the official soundtrack of gentrification