Please please please please please somebody get esteemed classicist Mary Beard to write weekly recaps of this travesty.

If Denmark is anything like the US, there’s a limited number of days that a person can be held in jail before being charged (48-72 hours in the US depending on where you’re arrested), so prosecutors often charge a suspect with whatever will stick at initial stages of the case so that they can go back and amend charges…

It seems they were on his submarine at some point.

I’m terrible because I just laughed when I read this comment. I might use it.

Police later told a press conference that it was still too early to identify the body - missing its head, legs and arms - that was found by a passing cyclist.

FIRST SONG WILL BE A PAULA ABDUL COVER

May the line wait times be ever in your favor.

“I build some great ghettos. Probably the best ghettos ever. Everyone says so. Everyone who comes to my ghettos tells me how great they are.”

That’s Charlie Hustle for you. So much dedication to the game, he’d play ball even without any grass on the field.

You stop it I need this in my stocking and I shall have it

Whoa, what? Can you expand on this?

Every race has attractive women who want nothing to do with you.

I thought leaks were coming from everywhere. How much can he really accomplish by just firing communications people?

Building a trebuchet to launch the goddamn Mountain at the dragons would have been a better weapon.

Anybody who calls him “cowardly” is a fucking asshole. Sometimes depression is terminal.