MTV STOLE MY IDEA.

It's the new computer for ladies. Because YOGA.

You know, it was one of those situations where I just swallowed my bile, to make sure we could eat, pay our utility bills, etc, and I didn't care what people thought (it still weirds me out that strangers think Cap and I "should have acted" in some kind of prescribed way re: money. Like, WTF?!) and just gritted my…

IF ONLY everyone read and understood the morality tales in plays an novels of the late 19th and early/mid 20th century!!!!!!

DIDN'T YOU KNOW? IT'S THE NEW AMERICAN DREAM!

You manage to walk the very fine artistic line between horrific and strangely erotic rather well, sir.

Fair.

IT'S HOW I KNOW THE REPUBLICANS CARE ABOUT ME.

All poor people are now legally obligated to survive solely on ideas and bootstraps.

OH SURE, YOU MAY THINK ROBOT CHEFS ARE ALL FUN AND GAMES NOW, BUT JUST WAIT UNTIL THEY SYSTEMATICALLY FATTEN US UP TO USE AS BATTERIES IN THE MATRIX.

A worthy pursuit, surely.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I had homemade vegan chili in a rosemary & garlic bread bowl and that shit was delicious and there was no mess or dish to clean up.

I also toyed with "condom adjacent"

Clearly, you understand the inspiration behind my imaginative language.

And cuter too!

FRUSTRATION AND UTTER CONFUSION, like all haute cuisine abominations.

I'll email it to you, because I'm too lazy to go through the trouble of blacking out the faces and names.

I'm a vegetarian (vegan for Lent) who lives with a carnivore. Adventurous cooking is something I sort of have to embrace as a lifestyle.

mildly depressed that you are not a culinary engineer with a special focus on cookies.

Best friend's husband is a sous chef. I've been to his kitchen. I'VE SEEN THINGS.