Maybe he’s trained as a lifeguard.

Protip: The pump action in BBH does NOTHING. You never have to reload! I’ve spent half my life in bars and just realized this. Truly a life-changing revelation.

I played Privateer for over a year before I realized it actually had a story and questline. I’d been happy enough cruising the galaxy aimlessly, shooting merchants out of space, capturing the crew and selling them into slavery.

What “overwhelming majority of fans” is Mara talking about? I’ve never met a single one, apart from a couple random geriatric barflies. Maybe I’m just too choosy about the company I keep.

Name checks out

There are some subtleties he knew Trump would miss, like addressing it to “Mr. President,” knowing full well that Mr. President would have preferred “President Trump” (previous torch-passers seem to use their successor’s first name here).

Here’s what happens when you give illiterate children millions of dollars to play with.

No way

Good

It’s not that “the match quality takes off” at a certain point. The tension begins as soon as someone asks, “So where are we going?” There’s always something badass going on, somewhere, from the moment people start jumping. Actually finding the best shit just gets easier as the map shrinks, but you’re bound to miss…

The NFL “RedZone’ format would be perfect for BG. May take a while to work out the kinks, but if/when they do, gonna be glorious.

Don’t you mean Deadspin

You melt one slice on the patty. For the gooeyness. Then you put the bacon on top and slap more cheese on top of that and eat it. Everything else is more or less correct.

Yeah, but

In what universe would the NFL or the US government go to war against Jerry Jones?

You can blame the one deputy who ran and called the press about “Lucky Whitehead” being arrested. Also, blame Lucky Whitehead for hanging out with people who’ll steal his dog or his SSN, and for having a nickname that doesn’t quite suit him.

Thanks for the emotional roller coaster first thing in the morning.

Nah, man.

Park your infested spawn beside me, and somebody’s getting dragged off the plane.

I can’t imagine why.