Charity is fantastic. But part of the beauty of giving to charity is doing it quietly and not broadcasting it.

The short answer is yes. The long answer is also yes, but with a few more words.

I saw one of those on the road. Both me and my mom noticed how much of a shitbox it was

I had one.

This car automatically popped into my head. If you aspire a bit harder maybe you can afford a better car. The Ford Focus also comes to mind. If you would have focused more on school you would've had a better car.

Indeed. There was a company down here called "orbital" that were using them as test mules for their orbital engine

I worked at a Ford dealer when those turds came out, we called the Assfires.

Why are so many of these econoboxes (and the Festival before it) festooned with huge rimz, tint, 5000 watt stereos, and Pep-Boys accoutrements?

I use to joke with a co-worker that owned one the same phrase. It aspired to be a real car. I guess it is a step up from the old Fiesta.

Why does it look like it's on a 2" lift?

Weird. My mom said almost the same thing! She said the Aspire had aspirations of being a car.

These were called a "Fiesta" in Australia

Opel Kadett made by Ford...

Ford Edge and Flex. The names are reversed.

The joke at the time was Ford Aspire to mediocrity

You beat me.

How about this steaming pile of refuse? Buick Regal. Nothin regal about this thing. My hatred is well placed since one tried to kill me in my adolescent years. Electrical fires while driving are no fun.

The Aspire's good but the Daewoo LeMans you linked to is the winner!

The Smart Fortwo. This is a dumb car, horrible mileage for size, completely impractical and scary. My neighbor purchased one and a few days later came over to me and said, I think I made a mistake...haha

Pontiac LeMans. Just look at it. You can imagine blasting down the Mulsanne Straight at 588MPH.