and with each day the Jalopnik we used to know and love becomes a more distant and faded memory, replaced by...whatever this is

Jalopnik: bringing you the best of whatever everyone else wrote

new jalopnik mandated minimum of 3 completely unrelated hyperlinks per paragrah

How to alternate feed/zipper merge.

My grandma has a 2014 Cadillac ATS 2.0T Sport package (what 85 year old lady doesn’t need Brembo brakes?) with an early CUE variant, and it is absolutely diabolical. The screen itself seems to vary its sensitivity at random, things are buried in places you’d never expect, and the flow is rarely intuitive. Trying to…

aka exactly what I would expect to find aboard literally any yacht

“Hey guys we need some more clicks let’s see if we can get people to fight and make generalizations about entire demographics in the comments with nothing more than anecdotes to back it up”

This. I’m not saying this particular cancellation was justified or handled correctly, but as someone who works for an insurance company, if we’re going to be on the hook for potentially 6-7 figures in the event of a loss, we want to know as best we can how much of a risk we’re taking. Checking on condition/maintenance…

“HELL IS REAL”

Bless you for trying to correct them. Maybe there’s hope.

If I had a nickel for every time the inside of my skull got X-Rayed by an oncoming Acura MDX...

It’s me, I’m the one in the left lane going 85. Sorry.

I’ve been to aprox. 36 of the U.S. states, most of which I’ve driven to/in. I drive nearly 30,000 miles a year. Easily my least favorite stretch of road (and one I have to deal with a lot) is I-65 between Chicago and Indianapolis.

Did everyone on the current Jalopnik staff set foot in the car for the first time upon taking the job?

Not the first nasty, even fatal crash from one of these stupid rallies. Years ago another 911 Turbo in one of these rallies (the infamous Gumball) hit and killed a couple in a passing car. The rich douchebags who organize these things for other rich douchebags just get away with it by telling participants “Obey the…

“This article about the destruction of some enthusiast cars of which there are a limited number is a dumb article because it’s not about cars I like.”

Congrat! Always good to see someone from the old Oppo days (RIP) moving up in the world.

This

uh...no. not really.