MHP is possibly the best news, opinion show on tv to date!

I'm stumped. 130 pounds...I think from context this is supposed to be bad, but I can't figure out if he means it to be too fat or too thin. Because for a woman, it seems like a pretty reasonable weight, depending on height. For a man, in most cases probably too thin, but again, depends on height. "Calves the size of…

was it just me, or was anyone else terrified that she was going to drop the baby every time she waved?

You forgot the most important part: The shoes in this video were 1000x better than the monstrosities in the original video. That was enough right there to justify this remake.

A boy is the heir to the throne: SUCK IT FEMINISTS!

I'm imagining a grumpy wet gorilla glaring up at you with arms crossed like "you're a jerk, you know that?"

I'm an American and I think it's exciting. Make fun of me all you want. I like babies. I like the royal love story. I'm a romantic.
Give me my pints of ice cream and Lifetime movies.

Even more remarkable: Sybrina Fulton & Tracy Martin are divorced. They have faced this unimaginable tragedy in the public spotlight together, completely united on behalf of their sons: The one who was murdered, and the one who survives. God bless this family. Their strength astounds and inspires me.

The burden of proof is still not mine, and I'm no more agnostic about fairies than I am about gods. Many gods have testable characteristics (the efficacy of prayer, miracles), and even the untestable ones (divine revelation) usually have simpler explanations (lying, mental illness, the use of narrative to inspire…

Should I be ashamed that I find the tiny little mayor so incredibly hot?

I find him so bafflingly attractive.

Fake origamis are killing America. Dude. That receipt from Taco Bell you folded up into an uneven triangle is not origami. Come ON.

[Farts all day in a tune that sounds suspiciously like Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth.]

80%? Really? Why am I never surveyed? Am I left out of surveys because I am a freak of nature?

The people who say 'Hey! SEE, it isn't just America!'

Girl you do not get to count the inches of cock twice. You can count BJ's given to the same person each time but UP and DOWN don't both get to count.

Not Bearnami? An earthquake at the North Pole causes all the polar bears displaced by global warming to be caught up in the front of a tsunami that hits Vancouver, er, I mean "New York." And there's a nuclear meltdown, so the bears are all radioactive, because why not.

Even better? After coming out of the shark, he reaches back in and pulls out the girl who fell into the shark's mouth from a helicopter 10 minutes before. Same shark! THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

This is why my generation had to take a lot of drugs during our teen years.

I guess I like these? Something feels a little off to me though, I can't quite put my finger it. I think it's something to do with them being a bit white knight-y. Like, good men are needed to save the poor helpless women from the bad men.