Oh, lordy, I ADORED the candy corn oreos. Fortunately, everyone else thought they were repulsive so they were All.For.Me. I deeply hope they have them again this year.

For my sister's wedding, we did something similar and it worked really well.

Too much is never enough

Correct. And people who are not white and Christian and do not live "in the heartland" are not real Americans, either.

Next time you are at the salon, find out what brand and what color number they use on you. Pay close attention to what they do to mix it and put it on you.

That's Roscoe!

I've said this forever too!

I worked with a guy who was a COMPLETE douchebag. Just a total whiney weenie guy. He was engaged to some girl and we thought she was nuts to put up with him.

I keep trying to get Scandal! I cannot figure out when it is on so I can program DVR!

First there was the original 90210 and I watched it religiously.
Then there was my beloved Melrose Place.
For a short time there was Models Inc. too! I was so happy!
Then there was a long sad dark period
Then there was The OC and I was happy again. The theme song is my ringtone
Then there was a long sad dark period again
Th…

Ever get a contact lens full of jizz? That shit hurts like a motherfucker.

When I first got out of school and moved to NYC, I was on the super-effective Poverty Diet as well. I could eat anything I wanted, but I only had $3 a day to spend. I had a pint of milk for lunch everyday because at the time it was only $.65.

Russian Red is gross on me too, but Dubonnet is a truer/blue-based red and it is awesome.

I think morning people are the big entitled assholes — they are so goddamn self-righteous and proud of their morning asses. They'll schedule shit for the ass-crack of dawn and act all superior when you show up shaking and looking like you just got whacked upside the head with a two-by-four. They brag about coming in…

Here's the one my friend posted earlier this week ...

I will say that having a bowl of really good candy on your desk is about the best Project Manager trick I ever learned. Everyone comes in to get some candy, and you can ask them about project status while they're there. No chasing anyone around and begging for a response. Brilliant.

Ha! I've been googling away off and on for weeks trying to figure out that same thing. Maybe Russian Red? It's kinda matte, so maybe Viva Glam I ? I really want to know too! So pretty!

When you love someone who is imperfect, you need to make decisions about what is truly important to you and what you feel you can safely jettison from your list of things you thought were mandatory.

I get that one! It's an emergency and I have to call someone, but there's only an old rotary phone (those take forever to dial on) and I keep mis-dialing.

I regularly have contact lens dreams — I'm somewhere dirty, with dirty hands and no contact solution and I have to put in a contact lens that is the size of a giant mixing bowl.