I’m shocked a regional sport in New England breeds self-important players and a parochial sporting league that does random things to fuck over those players.

“The only real annoying thing about it,” said Patch to a gaggle of reporters, “is everyone expects you to go as a pirate for Halloween.”

That’s a pretty accurate description, except strict safety rules for the position usually means punters don’t have that much brain damage.

It’s like Kevin Costner is running the Bears. Not even his character from DRAFT DAY. Just well-known baseball movie actor Kevin Costner.

Nice

Folks, this is what happens when you demand Deadspin stick to sports.

There’s a clear symbiotic relationship here. Best Buddies gets the use of Tom Brady’s celebrity, Tom Brady gets to raise money for causes that he apparently actually cares about, which the public would be otherwise indifferent to if he just went out and said these were his pet causes. Best Buddies would likely pay…

Imagine learning CPR from watching a man in an alligator costume pantiome it.

This kid is going to save a life in the future from something he learned from a college mascot.

I didn’t even know 2028 was an election year till I read your article.

Enrico Pallazzo, on the other hand, thought it was a great call.

Phiadelphians might complain, but they can’t stop it as all the NFL draft does is win, win, win.

Any excuse to post this video of Puddles the Clown singing Pinball Wizard to the tune of Folsom Prison Blues:

We’ve done it, folks. The content mill has finally hit rock bottom to find Barry’s large, smelly shoes.

Mike Matheny is a true mastermind.

Very strong thoughts for a guy who was so shitty at his old job that they fired him and replaced him with a guy FROM A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SPORT!

My man, if you didn’t watch the match... maybe you shouldn’t be asking the first question?

Any Quarberback who retires with anything resembling a spine still in his body is a coward. There, I said it.

As a Chicago fan, this is absolutely shocking.

Yeah, handing over your privacy to stay out of trouble. That’s the point of my post. It’s not a good thing.

They might have been threatened to be kicked off the team if they didn’t.