I try not to fart in front of the fiance if I can help it. But if I’m in bed, or if I’m mad at her, or if I’m really sure that it’s going to be a long extended loud fart that will be hilarious, or if we’re leaving an elevator when other people are rushing in, or if I think I can blame it on the dog, or if we’re in a…

I found it oddly satisfying. Like this video:

skimming the beach on their ultra-low takeoffs and landings

I’m surprising myself enormously with this take, but here goes: I think kids-at-breweries is overall Good. There is nothing more annoying than a poorly-behaved child in a restaurant, but they can’t learn to behave in a restaurant without ever going to one. A brewery is exactly the kind of super-casual environment…

Making fun of his weight is just picking low hanging fruit, which Christie would never touch, unless it’s covered in chocolate or filling a pie; because he’s a fatty fatty 2x4, can’t fit through the kitchen door.

Please god let him wear number 4 just so he can adapt to the culture quickly.

Maybe she didn’t see that he wound up with the ball?

You’re right, he clearly lost because he wasn’t Russian enough.

It might be shades of Tracy Gold syndrome. You play a character who is the frumpy, dorky punchline during the years where the way others see you is so important. I think a part of me would be like “why did I get this part?” and be very affected.

He requested a pizza delivery at 10:37 and started bitching that it hadn’t arrived yet at 11:11? God, what a whiny little snowflake.

I’m speechless. I really thought this was only me. I read this whole article and now I know I’m not alone. I still haven’t told my wife about my bout with this. I’m passed it now and my son is almost 2 with another on the way.

details of how exactly he fell are not known

Remember the last time he denied something? I can’t wait for the Oprah special on this one where it turns out he really actually died from testicular cancer many years ago and he had a secret evil twin ruin his good name with all that doping.

Thanks for coming to Deadspin, Mr. Turgeon

Captials gonna Capital.

They always try to stretch doubles into Tripoli.

We spend all these years fighting African Pirates, and now we’re supposed to celebrate them?

By the way, C is the only letter in YMCA that is not symmetrical, which makes it the trickiest letter of the bunch. Makes you think.

Just change the name to Mic & Mic, then the only thing you have to worry about is having a microphone for each host.