I feel like it kind of matters if it’s a joke.

And it would’ve worked, too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your goddamn dog!

“Acting!”

True story: just yesterday I had a millennial coworker ask me what Muzak is, because I’d name-dropped it in passing. After explaining what Muzak is and how prevalent it used to be, I sent him a link to a video clip of the elevator music scene in The Blues Brothers.

Yes, if there is irony at work here — and I’m sure we can root around and find some if we can just stop pulling out our hair for a few minutes — it’s not in the way this detestable idiot man-child meant it.

In the header pic on this article, the dude looks like the happiest Force ghost ever. Like, the original AKA real AKA old Anakin actor and Sir Alec Guinness are standing there with Yoda, and the camera pans over and there’s this dude standing there yukking it up, just loving the party.

It was never about workers’ rights. It’s almost like they didn’t want people to know what they were up to!

What a fucking asshole.

R.I.P. Kirsty, always and forever.

All of us who are familiar with the adventures of the Bluth family?

I first heard the Jingle Cats when I was working retail back in the 90's, and I went from “this is kind of amazing!” to “this is kind of awful!” in just a couple of spins of that CD. But since we employees pretty much had control of the music in our store, and we knew this CD would work magic on our customers…

Has that advice ever done you wrong?

I’m pretty sure that’s what they mean by “paying it forward.”

You made the right call. I should’ve mentioned above that I won’t deign to stand in a long line at Voodoo, even if I’m with my kids and they’re pushing hard for donuts; a couple of times we’ve jetted over to the East Side location which hasn’t had a long line during any of my visits.

“John Lennon shoulda armed hisself!”

Assuming he doesn’t have any screens playing footage of Argentina’s World Cup failures, that is.

(This is a cheap jab at him because as far as I can tell, Messi’s acquitted himself quite admirably in the World Cup, though Argentina’s teams have never been good enough on the whole to get the job done.)

I agree that the “good” statue looks awfully necky.

For these transgressions, are you a fan of the kind of hanging where there’s a significant drop, so the end usually comes relatively swiftly, or the other kind of hanging where you strangle to death relatively slowly? I’m torn.

Oh, I happen to agree, but I’m “liking” these other ones to be polite.

Fair enough.