I’ll just point you this-a-way.

I, for one, will miss the adventures of Autobot Leader Megatron.

Conservative troll shitbags often employ moderately clever wordplay because it’s the only way they can feel intelligent while spewing bigotry.

I love my BB-8. Maybe now I can get his evil twin on the cheap.

We could use a few of these in Baton Rouge. There’s been a rash of package thefts lately.

At this point, with a literal climate Apocalypse bearing down on us, tearing down the GOP isn’t even about politics. It’s about the survival of the entire human race.

And who cares about them? They haven’t won the Cup since ‘67.

I wouldn’t mind the complex pseudoscience if more folks went into details about it, rather than just saying, “It’s magic and you couldn’t possibly comprehend it, so we’re not even gonna try to explain it.”

Fixed that headline for ya.

If a tree falls in the woods and no-one is around to hear it, who the fuck cares?

And here I was, seriously considering dropping a goddamn hundo on a Cauldryn. Thanks for saving me $90 and a trip to Cabela’s, Allison.

As a pansexual penis-bodied person, I can tell you that most vagina-bodied folks aren’t nearly as good at slobbin’ the knob as orally-inclined penis-havers are. I imagine the opposite is true: As much as I like to kiss the bearded clam, I’ll probably never be as good at it as an experienced vagina-haver.

Honestly surprised the Kinja Deals team isn’t in here being all, “Counterpoint: Whiskey stones are great and here’s a link to some on Amazon that gets us a 5-cent kickback if you buy some.”

I wish I’d had some of this Saturday morning. My entire body was revolting against the very concept of alcohol.

Man, I’ve seen, like, one and a half of these shows.

He was always really smart about that sort of thing. I remember an interview with Eddie Van Halen around the VH III era where he credited Sammy with teaching them the business side of the music biz. He taught them to take direct control of their brand, both as a band and as individuals, whereas previously they just…

I mean, yes. But Avión wasn’t taste-tested by a guy who hasn’t had a hit record since 1997.

I know y’all couldn’t get to everything, but I am disappointed that you left out the original celebrity vanity booze.

Okay, okay, jeezum, I’ll do it. Between this and the Oscars, I’m busier than a cat with two assholes.

Trashcan Lannister