Tom Cruise was five years older when making Mission Impossible: Fallout (55) than Wilford Brimley was when making Coccoon (50).

Netflix is also getting The Curious Creations Of Christine McConnell

No love for the pistols from Mass Effect 2 and 3? (Sorry, ME1, all your guns sucked.) I was especially fond of 3's Executioner pistol, which I used in lieu of a sniper rifle on my first Infiltrator playthrough.

I have actually been hit by a car and I can tell you that it should be ranked a lot higher on this list.

Straight-up, this is the news that made me subscribe to Shudder.

You’re far more likely to lose your legs on the drive to the beach.

Thanks for picking the cutest white pointer out there for the header photo!

Style guide note: The proper name of the Western hemisphere’s most popular imageboard is “4chan,” not “4Chan.”

“Actually, I am allergic to dust.”

I will watch the Hell out of this.

I wonder if my cable provider will cut me a deal on a few months of Showtime. I loved the first season of Outcast and I’d rather not wait for a streaming service to pick up the second.

When I own The Onion, Inc., classic-level content will absolutely return.

I really wish these lists would include anime. Hulu has turned out to be a trove of Gundam shows and it’d be nice to know when they’re getting more.

Since that’s my absolute favorite feature on this site, you bet your sweet ass I will.

That’s a quality suggestion and we will take it under advisement.

Oh God no. I save my sadism for people who don’t work for me. And Republicans.

There was also a line of crab boil-flavored crackers made by Wye River that were bloody delicious. I miss them so.

Look, Chicago-style deep dish is an abomination. No doubt about that. But Chicago is gifted with many wonderful pizza places. Or so I’m told. I won’t know unless my scheme to crowdfund a buyout of The Onion works out.

When I own this site, all of my backers will be perma-ungrayed.