I don’t care how she identifies - Wednesday does not have a fringe (bangs in Basic).  Get that sorted!

This is true.  Also, they used to have a wine lake but my aunt got in there back in the early 2000s and now it’s more a puddle.

Never say I’m not kind. You’re not getting one. Here’s three Heilan Coos!

You filthy wee bampot. I hope your mother knows what a reprobate you are.  *denies Tim Hortons*

PEOPLE!  WE ARE AT DEF-CHOC 1!  PREPARE THE EMERGENCY AIRLIFT OF DECENT BRITISH CHOCCY!

Do as my mother’s been doing for the better part of a year - make your own. Seriously. It’s remarkably easy to make butter, and all it needs is a bit of practice but it pays off in the end, especially when you look at the cost of cream versus butter (well, here the cost of cream is literally half that of unsalted…

Gee, I don’t know about you, but I think lemony milk needs a bit of texture, you know?

Yeah, I’m going with the He 111. Behold!

Inside Affleck’s brain right now...honestly, I’ve read and reread that bit several times and either something he said is missing or the lift doesn’t go to the top of his building these days.

I know there’s a pack of diabetic slappers out there who are slobbering at the thought of Pilk, but I’d like to draw your attention to this:

Ah, away you go and bite a beaver.  Sorry ‘boot it.

How dare you presume that I’m a Yank or *gulp* a Canadian!  I’m Scottish!  Stand right there and I’ll fetch a rolling pin to skelp you with!

...

Again, there are children out there that should be held underwater.  Preferably until they stop thrashing.

Darling, you need at least four.  Plus an extra one for garnish.  And squirty cream.  GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, YOU SLAPPER.

At least they’ll be warm!

*beady stare*

Dahlink. If the cherry isn’t surrounded by a little pool of kirsch, enrobed in dark chocolate, then no.

Okay, I say it’ll be six months before his sex tape leaks.  I bet £100 on him being a bottom.  Do I have any takers?

*raises claw*