Ah, away you go and bite a beaver.  Sorry ‘boot it.

How dare you presume that I’m a Yank or *gulp* a Canadian!  I’m Scottish!  Stand right there and I’ll fetch a rolling pin to skelp you with!

...

Again, there are children out there that should be held underwater.  Preferably until they stop thrashing.

Darling, you need at least four.  Plus an extra one for garnish.  And squirty cream.  GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, YOU SLAPPER.

*beady stare*

Dahlink. If the cherry isn’t surrounded by a little pool of kirsch, enrobed in dark chocolate, then no.

Okay, I say it’ll be six months before his sex tape leaks.  I bet £100 on him being a bottom.  Do I have any takers?

*raises claw*

Ah hah. Well, you can keep your shitty wee White House for another year. The chocolate orange mentioned in that article is nothing like our superior chocolate orange. Here in the UK we have this:

Clearly some people needed to be held underwater that little bit longer as babies.  Ingrates.  Infidels!

Yanks don’t appreciate anything that’s good in this world. How the everlasting kitteny fuck can you hate chocolate orange? You wash your well-used whore mouths out right this instant or we’re going to burn your shitty White House down again!

No. British politicians know that the NHS is sacrosanct. Yes, it creaks, yes, it wobbles, yes, it’s in dire need of support: but that’s the thing about it - it’s a national health service.  British people would raise fucking hell if it was even breathed that we should seek to emulate the Yank system.  

I’m not risking taking this cunt out of the greys, but here’s to the prick who thinks they’re as high as a scavenging carrion bird...

You have my blessing to break their fucking fingers if they touch your hair. It doesn’t matter what your background is - touching someone’s hair without permission is creepy as fuck.  

Can I request an edit about Buckingham Palace reaching out? According to Fulani, they have not reached out. She’s been on television this morning stating that they have not contacted her, they have not contacted the charity.  

That’s barbaric.  Utterly fucking barbaric.

And yet another reason never to move to the USA.

Christ, chuck it in the bin.  Fucking discount GQ rag.

Ah, Everywhere.