I’m Central Florida material.

Vote Bowling Green, show your support for the survivors.

Or, alternatively:

If the NFL doesn’t know what a catch is, how could they ever understand a catch-22?

That picture was my avatar for a long, long time. Sigh...

What a shocker the guy who cried about having to charge an extra ten cents a pizza for health care for his workers is a bucket of smashed assholes.

“It’s not fair! Colonel Sanders was always manhandling breasts and slobbering over thighs, and no one made him sign confidential settlements with the chicks involved.”

You know what, this is bullshit. Ray Kroc was always doing this *grabs ass of nearby female employee* which I would never do, and even sometimes do this *grabs breast of employee, exposes self* which I would also NEVER do, and never got in trouble, and now I’m in trouble even though I would never do those things and…

Been awhile since I got to use this!

Abolish Florida*

I think New York could use a 2nd professional team.

The NYPD are the most useless police force on the planet. Stop that red light runner who almost killed a pedestrian?  No, that’s too much paperwork. Help me figure out where they illegally towed my legally parked car?  No, that would require a basic level of effort. Fat and lazy, I tell you. 

Ok Liah, now imagine going through all those things as a burdensome minority instead of a white woman who everyone sees as redeemable and worth expending effort on. Instead of going to college, you dropped out at 16 because your school had suspended you for ‘poor behavior’ starting in kindergarten and none of your…

This.

Welp.

I would have answered him straight: “No, if you want good fried chicken you have to either eat it fresh or reheat it in an oven. If we bring cold fried chicken to school, there is no way to reheat it and it just isn’t as satisfying. Do you have any other patronizing questions?”

Video footage of the three detectives on scene:

Here’s my altogether-too-early theory: