“It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it works out for them.”

There’s a legit Salty Waitress question somewhere in your story. Something along the line of “is it rude to ask my waitress for referrals to local sex workers?” It could then crosspost to Savage Love. 

Oh my God, it’s PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!

75k/year in NYC is practically a minimum wage job in a normal area.

I know a few women who actually worked at a deficit after they looked at the stats and realized they’d likely never be able to make the same money they were making when they left or return to anything near the same position if they took the time off.

Call me old fashioned, but I prefer “Excellent Baseball Man Decorates Field With Bird”

Shit, we don’t even have kids, and when we did the math for car, gas, insurance, food that wasn’t 7-11 taquitos, and how much frantically cleaning the house ourselves on the weekends sucks, I’m basically just working to avoid having a big gap on my resume.

IF we’re able to conceive, it would be cheaper for me to quit my job and stay at home. I’m an Assistant Professor and I don’t make diddly squat. Wife wisely chose IT and is the bread winner.  And, frankly, I would leave higher ed in a heartbeat.

Looking at the fine specimens of cops who made the grade in my town I have to ask. They turn people down???  

“Dud” you go fuck yourself? Because you should go fuck yourself. Always go fuck yourself.

The amount I hear people paying for daycare is something else. It gets to the point where you wonder if it’s even worth it and should someone just stay home because the daycare places charge a god damn arm and a leg for it. I remember in Sweden it wasn’t a fixed rate but sort of depended on income to determine the…

Cousins, still transitioning to the Vikings, hasn’t yet been taught about their history with boats.

“Yes, ma’am there’s um, there’s a Ni-CLANG

I know division play doesn’t really matter anymore, but you’d think the Southeast would’ve shown some interest in cousins.

Octopii are one of the most intelligent creatures on the planet and are actually required to be put under anesthesia if a procedure is needed to be done on them, because they are believed to have an understanding of what is happening to them.  If kept in captivity, they need to be in specialized tanks because they…

I date women and I straight up tell them I don’t want kids. I never have wanted kids either. My complaint is I cannot find any women who want to have a life partner but not children. I mean this does swing both ways. It’s not that I want to just have sex with random women forever. I just want a women I can be with a…

That’s when you know it’s officially Too Damn Hot Out.

It’s nice that he continues to persist with this dream of his, since he’s helping to spread Christianity wherever he goes. The usual form is in comments people make about him, such as “Jesus, look at that awful swing” or “Christ, he really does suck”.

And that man should know because he has had sex with all of them.