Their 3-point shooting was awful. They need more Marx-men. 

“Checking in.”

That announcer sounded exactly like what i expected someone calling a Mulerider Softball game would sound like

I don’t understand your complaint.

I’ve got some good enough estimates for trailer weight, I’ve got a fuel economy average calculated by the vehicle’s computer, I’ve got the fuel grade, I’ve got the delta in elevation, and if you’d like, I can give you the ambient temperature and pressure, as well as tire pressure.

Hell…

TL:DR...... Ford gave David a truck to use as a support truck. He got it stuck. He guesstimated the weight he was going to tow and came up with a hypothetical MPG figure he was expecting with achieve with no basis in reality. The truck did not meet his fuel economy expectations when towing an unknown weight over…

(Just some super-dark humor in the face of a terrifying situation! Steve Kerr is very much one of the good guys and I wish him the absolute best.)

Perhaps it’s 3-1 lead poisoning.

Sorry, wait, who the fuck are the Atlanta Hawks?

Yes. This is the good stuff. More of this.

But also, why the hell would a juice press need four tons of force? Is it juicing granite boulders or some shit?

Doug Evans, the company’s founder, would compare himself with Steve Jobs in his pursuit of juicing perfection. He declared that his juice press wields four tons of force—“enough to lift two Teslas,” he said.

The search to find the right person took longer than expected. Some people thought it would never happen.

Regardless, I expect her to facilitate any investigation, instead of being a source of denial.

I think they found her in the Congo.

Ugh. All of those pretentious University Presidents have PHDs in something. She insists you call her Dr. Livingstone, I presume?

He, himself, killing his body to play with the SEALs is his own fault.

The regents’ sincerest hope is that Dr. Livingstone will show all the young women of Baylor how to dress appropriately, in ways that won’t cause the football players to rape them.

During her previous time in Waco....

It was the fucking that killed his back. He literally fucked his back up.

In Winnie the Pooh, when Tigger loses his stripes, they paint them back on and he recovers his mojo.