You’re right. A stroke would be ideal. Trapped in his own bloated body, relying on the caretakers but no longer able to speak or negatively affect the lives of others. That would be better, thank you.

Obesity is a risk factor for poor health, but it is not actually a measure of poor health. Poor diet is a risk factor for poor health, but it is not actually a measure of poor health. Lack of exercise is a risk factor of poor health, but it is not actually a measure of poor health.

Do you really need to ask if the obese looking man who wears baggy suits to hide his massive girth is really in “excellent health”? He tries to hide his obesity, but there’s a ton of pictures of him in his golf attire. That is not the shape a man of “excellent health” has, no matter the age. Then you throw in the fact…

So! You’re a Rear Admiral in the Navy, and an MD. Presumably, you make it that far in your career you care a little bit about your credibility. What are the odds that Dr. Jackson has the courage to disavow this note if it actually turns out to be forged?

If Trump insists on calling it a witch hunt, can we burn him at the stake when he’s inevitably found guilty?

Between the last three articles, I should kill my spouse with shrooms, and spend New Years alone in a box in the woods.

I would love to go, but I’m not an idiot. My grandma used to go all the time growing up in Poland and totally smuggled a bunch back in her luggage when she finally got to visit again. Unfortunately her health declined before she could take me, and there’s no way in hell I’m gonna venture out on my own in the states...

Latest cover of Cosmo: “50 Poison Mushroom Recipes To Make Your Man Putty in Your Hands”

What about beating your man to death with a leg of lamb and feeding the results to the cops?

Once a year? Thank you, me too. My husband thinks this is blasphemy. Meanwhile, I have a light colonization of moss on a couple places. I cannot bring myself to give a shit. The car works great and is neat on the inside.

Worth mentioning that Joe Cornish directed John Boyega in Attack the Block, which was John’s first movie. So thanks to Joe for getting John on the path to being in Star Wars

Now that scene where the AT-AT takes a huge dump makes much more sense.

My dog had a cameo as one of the older model walkers in the far background on Crait:

Geffen is basically known as the kingpin of the group that Bryan Singer and his ilk are a part of. Blind items insinuate that he just doesn’t make threats; he follows through on them. So I’m sure that is scaring a lot of people off from saying anything.

Thank you, Dr. Walker. Thank you.

I’m sort of surprised we haven’t heard anything about Beatty or Nicholson. I seem to recall stories of orgies involving very young women, some of them actually teenagers. And Nicholson was besties with Polanski. It was his house Polanski raped that poor little girl in. Granted, Jack wasn’t home, but Roman thought…

Ummm...wow. Was not expecting that. Came here for the snark and instead got naked Lenny Kravitz. Not that I’m complaining, mind you.

My mom and my sponsor are solid, my cats are assholes in a way only I understand, and I’m going to believe in Barack, Michelle, and Mr. Rogers regardless.

Holy fucking shit, Lindy. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Luckily, I doubt the men who made those comments are aware of the vagina's location, so if any of them actually tried to follow through on a rape threat, you'd have time to run away while they were all WHERE'S THE SEX HOLE?

The kind who has a helium tank in his closet to blow up all of his plastic dolls.